Wow Jess! He never pays attention to how I feel or think. Unfortunately, when we argue things get very bad to the point where he has Punched me in the HEAD 3 times in the past 7 years. He also gets verbally abusive with me calling me any filthy word that he can. I am at a breaking point where I don't know what to do? DO I end the relationship even though I know my kids will be very affected by this? If there are abusive verbal tendencies then marriage counseling can work to help you set healthy boundaries.
Both have to agree to learn how to voice thoughts and feelings and listen instead of responding emotionally. He punched you in the head.
Your kids will be negatively affected by violence and abuse or divorce. It's all tricky, life shapes us all in positive and negative ways.
But ask yourself this - would it be better for your kids to know that their mother took control of a horrible situation and prioritised her safety, their safety, and their relationship with at least one healthy parent? Seriously think about leaving.
You're worth much more than this! Hi everyone. I am facing a crossroads. My boyfriend of 6 years and I are at an end. We love each other so much even until it hurts us both. We have gone through so much. He has always been an abuser of cough medicine and we have worked so hard on his addiction together,but it still finds a way to come back and he spirals out of control. He refuses to give them up this time and has started drinking heavily.
The relationship has gotten so violent at times. He steals my debit cards and my car so he can get high. He wants me to accept him for who he is,but I'm miserable.
We have been the only family to one another since we got together. He also is so smart and talented with huge dreams and ambitions, but the addiction has such a hold over him.
I am a crisis counselor and feel at times like a failure because I could not save him. He is also an illegal immigrant and a felon.
This occurred during our relationship. I feel that he came into this relationship much better and I feel guilty for trying to leave. I keep hoping he can kick this addiction,but is hoping really enough to stay in a dangerous and miserable situation. I do love him very much and our love is one for the record books. We have both sacrificed so much. Would you leave? Hi everyone im a young man still in college and my girlfriend has a lot of aniexty and depression problems she just had her spring break and now she's back in school tonight she has been very distant and unusually different with her actions I have been trying very hard to help her for the past 11 months and I'm all she has she's very stubborn due to her aniexty And i have to keep my feelings with her and any stress i get a secret to my friends I am very lost on what to do and I'm not feeling very well as a person because i have so much weight on my shoulders I love her so much but it is a challenge just spending time with her I have contemplated leaving but i feel its not the right thing to do any help is appreciated god bless.
I am pursuing PhD. It will take next three years to finish it. My boyfriend and his parents give me pressure to get married to himbefore I finish my degree. But, I want to get married only after my studies 3 years later. I feel really annoyed and stressed these days.
I have only one choice.. Thank you so much. Yes if your not mentally ready to take that step and your not feeling it back out that's your inner you putting resistance. Out of all the comments that are needed for the other two people Fact of the matter is, everyone looking for a reason to leave, should leave. Everyone looking for a reason to stay, will only be able to find it themselves. The only thing that any person is going to add to these issues, is a helpful shoulder or ear.
Our relationship started off rough. He has a daughter from previous relationship and I have a son from a previous relationship also. His mother adores his ex and has never given me a chance all these years.
She shows complete preference towards his daughter over my son never inviting him to take part in fun activities or visits to her house. My husband tolerated this all these years saying there was nothing he could do to change it. His daughter has been surrounded by negativity towards me since she was 5 so naturally, she has done nothing but try to cause conflict since day 1. Now, about him. He does whatever he wants goes out enjoying life while I work and bare the burden of all household expenses and responsibilities.
He has 0 ambition. He touches me only for sexual advance and I better respond quickly or he goes into a rejection temper tantrum.
Anytime I try to talk or address the issues we have, he erupts into a dillusional fit combined with verbal attacks and name calling. I stand my ground for him to simmer on what he just said and how he behaves so once he then realizes his livelihood is in jeopardy he comes to me like a hurt dog. I have loved him but ultimately maybe I need to hit rock bottom before I take action. Thanks for reading my rant would love any advice! Me and my Boyfriend have been together for 4 years. Some lost jobs, lack of income.
My boyfriend finally has a good paying job that he loves. I always made things work. This whole 3 months he makes sure he tells me every couple days that I need a job. As if stating the obvious makes these employers get back to me quicker. But it always comes back to me not having a job. Earlier I said he was in this exact situation, that was a year ago. While he was unemployed I had went through 2 jobs.
His own friends nagged him more than I did. Try having an unemployed partner for a year!! Still I never complained. I stood by my man, as a queen would do her king. Oh and one more thing I offered him a place to live after his roommates got themselves evicted from their place. You would think he would cut me some slack. I've been dating my boyfriend for close to 7 years now. We met in University and still dating until now. Initially, he wasn't really my type but I grew to love him because he is smart, a go getter and he teaches me a lot of things.
For a year now, my parents have been telling me not to get married to him because of our different ethnic groups. He doesn't even mind if I don't talk to my parents anymore but I honestly don't want to loose either of them. Some months ago, we were together and I kinda got him mad. He told me not to do something but I did it anyway and he slapped me. He apologied to me and told me the only reason he did it was because I disobeyed him.
I really didn't mind this because I was wrong anyway. Fast forward to some months later, he hit me because I was driving recklessly. I confronted him about this and he said if I acted like an animal he would treat me as such. I really didn't like this. He has told me about twice that he would be doing me a favour by getting married to me because I am lazy, dirty etc.
He also told me that it is not like sex with me is the greatest. One time I remember we were in a bit of an argument and he threatened to leave me if I did not reply him. I cried so much that night. He also told me that since he is a man he can easily get someone else because men have time while women don't.
I have been having second doubts about our relationship and I bet he has too. I'm really confused and I don't know how to call it off. I don't want to hurt his feelings and I dont want him to say or do anything that would hurt mine too. Honey, as soon as it is safe to do so, get your arse out of there! You are in a dangerous and incredibly unhealthy relationship with this man. You deserve much, much better than this! He is aggressive, violent and controlling.
You do not have to put up with this. Don't you dare worry about his feelings when he clearly isn't worried about hurting you both physically and mentally. Get out of there. Make sure you have a safe place to stay, call the police if you can and make them listen and defend you. I have been in a same sex relationship for about 2 yeaRS now.
In the beginning of our relationship, I smoked marijuana heavily. I was very depressed and marijuana was my outlet. He did not smoke, and he thought it was coming between us, and it was. The last time I smoked was two years ago, a few months after we first got together. We worked on those things and things were better for a few months. Ever since then though, nothing has changed. Also we live together, 45 minutes away from our home town and I rely on him financially, despite having a full time job of my own.
I honestly don't know what to do. I am truly confused if i should leave my husband of 4 years. We met through a mutual friend. And sparks flew. We didnt date right away. We stayed friends with benefits for about 1 year. Then just friends for 3 years. One day we met up and something happened and we started dating. Not sure what was different about that time.
But it worked. We were inseparable. We both lived at home still. Both families catholic. It was hard to get alone time. But we made it work. My parents love him. And his family loves me. We have cultural differences. I am a mutt and my husband is chaldean iraqi christian. So all the different traditions his family has, i fell in love with as well. In the culture though you do not leave the house unless your married.
Well we were in love so it made sense. We started looking for a house. Put a offer in and he proposed. I was happy. I thought we will move in and be able to be free to do what we want for each other. So we moved in and made a life. Planned the wedding which his family pressed to be ad soon as possible since we weren't married just engaged. The culture is very by the book catholic. While living together i thought pur intimacy would rise. Having alone time. It did somewhat.
But not to what i think a new couple should. But i loved him so that wasnt everything to me. First year we got used to living with someone else. All the things you work out like whose responsibility for each chore is what etc etc. Got married and things were great. On our honeymoon we did not have sex. Which is noy a big deal. Your on vacation and you get tired. But i always feel like i could never open up to him in that way. But things were good. We were the couple that everyone around us that said your so lucky We respected each other and things were good.
Soon things started to subside in the bedroom even more. My husband gets irritable when things arent perfect. Which may be from his family because everyone on his side has major OCD tendencies of cleanliness.
Soon i felt nothing i did was good enough. Criticism was a normal thing. For everyday life. I didnt make enouhh money to save for us. I didnt clean enough. I didnt cook enough. I am a optimistic person usually and it never brought me down until a year and a half ago. I wasnt aware before but my husband suffers from depression.
And he was in the thick of it. I always listened and was supportive. He drank everyday almost. I suggested cutting down or things to help him. He hates his job so i helped him find new ones. He needed to stay at his job becausr it profided insurance for us. Which made me feel guilty. The feeling of guilt is always with me now.
He was always waking up sick and came home from work and zoned out while watching tv or playing on his phone. He gas great hobbies that he does as well.
Ge started taking antidepressants. But he still drank frequently. He was unhappy and so was i. Intimacy was never there and i felt like i was very generous when it came to that and him selfish. So it turns me off. Ive noticed how much irritation he has towards his mother always. And fekt like he started treating me that way. I started feeling disconnected. This grew for a year. I just hated the negativity he gave off.
He told ne he always had depression is just didnt show when we dated And wanted to start a business. Which is supported. I do hair and started looking for a shop to open up. I found a single studio which i moved to and business has been great. He was happy for me. But also jealous. As he would make comments i wish i had that etc.
A partner who's serious about being in a relationship with you will have no problem doing their part. If you feel like your partner isn't contributing their share to the relationship , have an honest discussion with them about how you feel. They might not even realize they haven't been pulling their weight, and may be open to doing more.
If you feel like you and your partner are moving in different directions — you want to live in different places, have different goals financially, disagree on whether to get married or have kids, for instance — then these are pretty big red flags that your relationship may not be fulfilling for you, Stef Safran , matchmaker and dating expert, tells Bustle.
If your partner is open to discussing and compromising on some of these major decisions , then there is still potential for things to work out.
But if you can't find a solution that works for the both of you, this may be a dealbreaker. You may be in love but if your timeline is different it may be time to part ways for the meantime," she says. This doesn't mean things can't work out in the future, but if timing is causing issues for you and your partner, it may be time to evaluate if what they can offer you in the present works for you.
If you have any sort of nagging doubt about them, matchmaker Susan Trombetti tells Bustle, that's a sign they might not be enough for you. It can really vary," Trombetti says.
Listen to your gut and see what it's telling you. When you're with someone who challenges you in different ways, there's opportunity for constant growth and having a relationship that evolves. According to Prescott, this may be a sign that your partner is unwilling to put forth the effort you need from them. In a mature relationship, both partners take accountability for their behaviors. It often results in one person making sacrifices and denying their own needs, which can ultimately lead to resentment.
Conflict in a relationship is inevitable and fighting can be healthy , if done the correct way. And the more you feel emotionally neglected, the more you will shut down.
It started small with The X and I brushed it off. He would say, you know who I am, you married me, so what are you going to do about it? He would subtly put me down or treat me like I was stupid. It was like he felt he was better than me; that he was perfect, that he knows how to do everything better than me. He criticized everything I did like nothing was ever good enough.
It was incessant. He just added to my stress rather than helping me or picking up the slack. Communication is key in relationships. Make a commitment to address issues as they arise. Holding in frustration and anger rather than communicating is just doing more damage in the long run. When issues arise, as they will, discuss it openly and honestly with your partner. If he is not willing to make any changes, when you have been honest about your feelings, this is when you have to start to think about making a change.
Patterns never lie. Believe actions, not just words and false promises. As discussed in another post, there are some common occurrences in relationships that predispose a marriage to divorce.
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