Adults do the same. Many people lie because they know they've done something that will anger the other person. A woman might lie about the cost of the shoes she purchased and a man might lie about which buddy he was going to hang out with.
These lies are strictly to escape punishment or to avoid a fight. The person may not have done anything wrong, but would prefer not to have to justify, explain or face an irate spouse. To Spare Feelings. To Protect Feelings While some people who lie want to protect the feelings of others and spare someone else pain or hurt, many people lie to protect their own feelings, self-esteem, self-confidence, or other personal emotion.
A woman who says, "I didn't want that job anyway," when she really did, is lying to protect herself. A child who yells out, "I hate you! To Keep a Secret When thinking of lies that are concocted to keep a secret, one must only think of birthdays and Christmas. Plenty of people lie about where they went or what they bought, with the good intention of maintaining an aspect of surprise. Most of the time, the lies are obvious. When the truth comes out and the teen receives a nice gift for a special occasion, the lie is forgiven and forgotten.
Many people want to present a good image, often for work-related reasons. Think of a job interview where a person might dress well and attempt to impress the interviewer in order to land the job.
People who lie for image reasons often do so because they want to gloss over a blemish in their work history or avoid providing the real reason for termination of employment from a previous job. To Be Liked Everyone wants to be liked and being part of the group is important, as well as part of human nature. Many people lie simply to be accepted by others. A person may feign interest in something or agree with a statement he or she does not believe. One problem that might occur with this type of lie is a lack of individuality, as well as not being able to be oneself.
To Manipulate Others. We learn very quickly that we can manipulate other people. Whether we choose to do so might be a subject of debate.
If you must work with or manage a sociopathic liar, document everything in writing as much as possible so that you can point to specific details and deadlines. Do not take the bait and become angry or obviously disappointed when confronting them because sociopaths feed on the discontent created by their immorality. Finally, boxing in the sociopathic liar to expose his or her lies in a public manner, such as in a meeting, will be worth the effort. Sociopathic liars detest exposure of their schemes above all else and will eventually move on to fresh territory to begin an insidious cycle of destruction anew.
Take heart in being an ethical public relations manager and minimizing the destruction caused by three types of liars, excluding them and their behaviors as much as possible. Recognizing these types of liars and minimizing the damage they cause can further the effectiveness of your communication activities.
A few more pro-ethics, anti-liar pointers:. As a function based on creating trust and relationships between organizations and publics, we must focus on truth and honesty in all of our communication. She is a member of the board of trustees of the Arthur W. Her column focuses on PR education, ethics, and the C-suite. She can be reached at sbowen sc.
Stay signed in. Forgotten password? A few more pro-ethics, anti-liar pointers: Reward moral courage on your team; Model honesty; Honor ethical questions with some thorough discussion and ask for multiple viewpoints; Talk about honesty as a core value on a regular basis. Deeper into the abyss: Why liars do it.
Have you registered with us yet? Register now to enjoy more articles and free email bulletins Register Already registered? H M S In the news. Lindsay Dodgson. There are several theories for why some people can't stop lying. Narcissists are often pathological liars, because they simply don't care about the truth.
They prefer to tell lies and gain control over people than be honest. Sometimes, compulsive liars are highly impulsive people who struggle to take the time to think things through and tell the truth. Lying doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but it could be a sign of something more sinister. Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories. Get a daily selection of our top stories based on your reading preferences.
Loading Something is loading. Email address. Sign up for notifications from Insider! Stay up to date with what you want to know. Deal icon An icon in the shape of a lightning bolt. Science shows that liars do not avoid eye contact any more frequently than those telling the truth. The key thing to look for in eye movement is deviation from their baseline.
He also notes that how fast or slow someone blinks and how that changes from their baseline when they say something you suspect to be a lie is critical to observe. The caveat comes when there are very high stakes involved — say, cheating in a relationship or doing something in the office place that can cost you your job.
In these situations, some studies have found gaze aversion to be linked with deception. Porter adds that if someone is telling a really big lie with serious consequences, the face will definitely reveal the deception. These tiny cracks lasting less than one-fifth of a second may leak emotions someone wants to conceal, such as anger or guilt. Experts do point out that signs of emotion aren't necessarily signs of guilt, but they may give you a peek into underlying emotions someone may be concealing.
She stresses that while we tend to distrust people who are shifty-eyed, break eye contact or won't look you in the eye at all, there are plenty of innocent explanations for this, whether they are shy, nervous or socially awkward. There are seven human emotions, Stecker says: anger, happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, disgust and contempt. These come into play when someone is forcing a smile.
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